The Struggle Within Can Not Be Stopped By Struggling Physically.

Today, I felt a sense of guilt.

To give you some context, I have always been an active individual.

I constantly look for ways to move my body.

I love to be physically active because it is my way to realise mental and physical energy.

I can not concentrate on anything before my physical workout.

However, my physical health has been detoriating these past few ways. therefore, I have not been able to go to the gym or go out.

I feel more weak than what my sickness can ever make me feel.

Why do I feel so sad?

I know that this feeling probably have some kind of underlying or unhealed trauma that I have surpressed from my mind, but apart from that, I have learned alot about myself by being alone.

In addition, I am rarely alone with my thoughts these days because of school, interests, and social activites.

This means that I have not been able to check in with myself for a long time.

Today, I felt the need to meditate.

I lit a blossom scented candle, cooked up some tea, made my bed, and changed into a comfortable pyjamas.

It was time. I sat down on my bed.

Which, by the way, my grandpa bought me a couple of weeks ago.