Growing Up As the Oldest Child In a Sexist Asian Household.

“You are old enough to take of yourself. I can’t help you, your sister needs me. Take care of your brother tonight!”

I love my family. It is the people that raised me to become the person I am today.

However, I can’t help feeling forsaken sometimes.

Growing up as the eldest child has always put me in the light of “always knowing better” or being expected to be independent.

Moreover, being seen as the one to take care of my sibling’s well-being, to push my will aside to make sure everyone else is doing okay, and to be a perfect golden child to set a good example has always put a smile on my face.

Everyone else was satisfied with me, right? But was I?

Don’t get me wrong, I love to spend time with my family, and achieving great success is good for me.

However, the endless pressure of always being perfect can leave one tired.

When can I live for myself without having to argue about it?

I want to spend time doing what I love, but the responsibilities that I had as a child still have an impact on me to this day.

In addition, I set big goals that I want to achieve, and I don’t stop until I feel my head explode, and I go numb.

Being a part of an Asian family didn’t make things easier.

“You are the oldest girl! Don’t scream.”